Patrick Quotes

The following list of quotes are from my son Patrick (age 5 age 6 age 8 as of March 2014). I feel that these were worth saving for posterity.

“Candy is evolution.” (2009)

“My life is not at home, it’s in another building.” (11/13/2009)

“I’m not a blob, I’ve got bones.” (11/7/2009)

Patrick: “Please Dad can I have a cheesestick?” Me: “Why?” Patrick: “Because I want one in my belly.” (9/30/2009)

“Daddy, what continent do we live on?” (11/11/2009)

Seeming unpleased with tonight’s cheese-filled shells and peas, walked away from the table and said, “I’m gonna wash my hands ’cause that’s a stupid dinner.” (1/18/2010)

“There’s garbage everywhere. That’s unhealthy for the Earth and it makes the Earth mad.” (3/6/2010)

Patrick: “What is this?” (pointing to an insect on his placemat) Me: “A mosquito.” Patrick: “What does it eat?” Me: “It drinks… what do you think it drinks?” Patrick: “Milk.” (4/6/2010)

On Patrick having a handful of rocks when I picked him up from preschool. Me: “What is it about rocks that you like?” Patrick: “Because I’m a science kid.” (2010)

On seeing Hubble IMAX: “I’m going to be an astronaut… No, I’m not going to be an astronaut. I love the Earth.” (6/27/2010)

Patrick, playing his keyboard and singing a song: “Dinosaurs lived before people. They fly and go around” – to the tune of “Can you Feel the Love Tonight.” “Dinosaurs, Dinosaurs. There’s meat eaters and plant eaters. Then people come.” Now I’ve been invited to do the dinosaur dance. (7/28/2010)

Patrick, on thinking about how we have evolved from fish: “I eat fish, but I don’t eat my grandpas.” (8/8/2010)

Whilst reading a book about prairie dogs – Michael: “Are you a prairie dog?” Patrick: “No, I’m a human being. [pause] Wait, why are we called human beans?” (8/2010)

Patrick, in the backyard finding bugs to put in his little magnifying container: “Dad, do you want to see the tiniest spider in the WHOLE world?” (11/5/2010)

“Space is up / Earth is down / The sun is hot / Earth is not” (1/24/2011)

Patrick, getting ready for bed: “Let’s count sheep. One, two, three” [pause] Me: “How many sheep did you count?” Patrick: “Three, but there was a kangaroo at the end.” (1/30/2011)

Patrick, when asked by an OMSI volunteer if he knows what he wants to be when he grows up: “I want to be one of those scientists who goes into nature and looks at stuff and doesn’t take it back.” (3/15/2011)

When riding the bus home from preschool, Patrick asked me: “Dad, I know that people did not make the planet, the earth. So where did it come from then?” (3/16/2011) Such a big question from a little guy – I did my best!

Patrick, in the backyard looking for bugs and finding a worm: “This worm is AWESOME! I am going to make a good habitat for it.” (4/1/2011)

“If you’re an elephant, you’re an elephant. If you’re a Patrick, you’re a Patrick. That’s being yourself.” (7/24/2011)

Patrick, to Catherine, during lunch: “Mom, you speak Spanish and English, [long pause] but do you speak Galapagos Island?” (8/21/2011)

Patrick: “Knock knock.” Me: “Who’s there?” Patrick: “Pumpkin.” Me: “Pumpkin who?” Patrick: “I’m going to carve your face out.” (10/20/2011)

Patrick, on being told that he is going to be a big brother: “That’s going to be a lot of work for me.” (1/3/2012)

Patrick, on being asked what his favorite place in nature is: “I don’t have one favorite place, because I love all places in nature. Even the boring places.” (6/13/2012)

Patrick has decided we should name the baby based on “where she comes from” or “her features.” He says either “Uterus” or “Cutie.” Catherine: “Yeah I’m glad our 6 yr old isn’t naming our child.” (6/15/2012)

Patrick: “Hey Mom, If you’re curious we’re having the baby tomorrow night.” Me: “OK, Nostradamus, pajamas.” (7/25/12; due date for our girl is August 11)

Patrick, upon seeing that NASA’s Curiosity Mars Rover landed: “But will it work?” (8/5/2012; well, there were pictures [thumbnails!] pretty quickly so I guess it will work!)

Catherine posted on Facebook on 8/12/12: “Love it when my son’s sentences start with ‘According to my research….'”

Note: Patrick’s sister Afton Lee was born on August 15, 2012.

Patrick, to Catherine, in so many words: “Afton and I came from mommy and daddy, and they came from star stuff. Actually, they had extra star stuff and that’s how Afton and I were made. There was enough star stuff left over for 100 babies.” (August 21, 2012)

“Dad, I love nature. That means I love us, because we are nature.” (February 24, 2013)

Patrick, on seeing four young nutria in the water at the Tualatin River National Wildlife Refuge: “So cute, but so invasive!” (July 18, 2013)

We had a close call at Laurelhurst Park. Afton in her stroller almost rolled into the pond. I caught her by quickly throwing my arm out and grabbing the handlebar the last second. Talking to Catherine today about how it scared the shit out of me, and had my heart racing, and Patrick shared: “Yeah, it scared my shit, too!” (August 14, 2013)