Reminder: Darwin Limerick Contest

I have a few entries so far, and would love to get some more!


Time to do something fun here at DoD. Send me your Darwin-themed limerick by Nov. 23rd, and I will select a 1st, 2nd, and 3rd place winner. The prizes are:

1st place: A signed copy of David Quammen’s The Reluctant Mr. Darwin (hardcover). Remember, Quammen is connected with my history department, so it’s absolutely authentic.

2nd place: DVD of the 2 hour episode of PBS’s Evolution, “Darwin’s Dangerous Idea,” and Peter J. Bowler’s Charles Darwin: The Man and His Influence (softcover, 1990). The book is a second copy of mine, but in very good condition, and the DVD was mine also, but I no longer need it now that I own the entire Evolution series.

3rd place: Charles Darwin: On Evolution, edited by Thomas F. Glick and David Kohn (softcover, 1996). This is a second copy of mine. Some shelf wear and a cover crease, but in nice shape.

Submit your Darwin limerick by commenting on this post or emailing me at darwinsbulldog AT gmail DOT com. Judging will be from myself, and possibly some fellow Darwin bloggers. Good luck!

Note: Limericks consist of five anapaestic lines. Lines 1, 2, and 5 of limericks have seven to ten syllables and rhyme with one another. Lines 3 and 4 of limericks have five to seven syllables and also rhyme with each other.

9 thoughts on “Reminder: Darwin Limerick Contest

  1. While still a young man, Darwin went
    On a trip—and the curious gent,
    From the fractions of inches
    Twixt beaks of his finches
    Inferred there was common descent!

    It’s a fact that I cannot escape;
    I share habits, genetics, and shape
    Though the fact makes me blush
    Darwin showed it’s not mush—
    I’m convinced that my cousin’s an ape!

    The gorillas are angry with me
    And the chimps are as steamed as can be
    No ifs, ands or buts,
    The apes don’t want nuts
    On their branch of the family tree

    My lackeys, my staff and my minions
    Are all of them proudly Darwinians
    You see, they compete
    For their pay (and to eat!),
    Sharing only their fittest opinions!

    Yes, I know that the key’s reproduction
    And I know of the body’s construction
    But as Darwin’s my witness
    I’ll give up some fitness
    Because I so dearly love suction!

    The object of all my affection
    Just told me I failed her inspection!
    So I guess that this means
    It’s the end for my genes—
    There’s a downside to natural selection!

  2. Ah, Darwin’d be rolling in clover
    When all of the judging was over
    Sure, there was no suspense –
    Evolution makes sense;
    Thumbs down to the Panda in Dover!

  3. (Sorry, can the Kiless one be deleted – and this too? I used the wrong account to post my limerick! Thanks!!)

  4. Of Charles Darwin I’m no fan.
    What he theorized, I too, can.
    A little transversion,
    mutation and selection;
    ape, pea, pen, pan, man!

  5. There are advocates of “intelligent design”
    Who say of nature, something so fine
    Argues a Hand. But I say unto ye
    God is, if She is, like me. She’s lazy.
    She designed the time-saving machinery.

    Behold the duck-billed Platypus
    Let him be an example unto us.
    An evolutionary “dead end?”
    Not, you bet your sweet patootie, friend
    From the viewpoint of the plat, be it ever so monstrousypus.

    There was a mad bishop named Darwin
    Who thought fame and renown to win.
    So he made a revolution
    Giving us evolution
    That felonious monk, named Darwin.

    There are many men who say
    With me, don’t bloody well get gay
    Descended from an ape?
    At me will you make a jape?
    I will make you your Origin unsay!

    But in the Turner Classic Movie Kong
    A New Yawk lady is clearly heard to say it’s wrong
    To put a giant monkey inna show
    We got enuf gahrillas in dis town, ya know
    Without havin’ tah see our ancestah’s hairy Dong.

  6. You cannot teach Biology
    Without getting evolutionary
    Otherwise it’s plants
    And ants in your pants
    A lexicographical dictionary

    There must be a reason for the Yahoos
    To desire to silence the teacher’s
    It’s anti-intellectual
    And it’s something sexual.
    But I can’t go on…where’s the booze.

  7. Best lecture I have heard involves a Nobel Prize winning Scientist, a poet and the good Mr Darwin. It should be available here. Warning….Not a limerick ;o)

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